Emotional Voyeurism
by The Future Queen of the World
Summary: A spin off from my story 'The Box' depicting Lucius' and Selena's relationship. This has been sitting on my computer forever so I thought I would share it. The likely hood of it being completed is slim. It started out as a writing exercise. I hope those who have enjoyed The Box, enjoy this as well.


Selena watched the ceremony without flinching though she knew with an unshakable certainty that she had never felt such pain as this. The couple before her, so alike in coloring, joined hands. Selena focused on keeping her breathing even and smooth as she felt her brother surreptitiously brush her arm in support. She ignored the gesture both hating his constant nearness and desperately depending on it. He seemed to understand her feelings on the subject. Damn him for being so perceptive.

Lucius opened his mouth for the first time since the farce of a wedding ceremony had begun. Beautiful words fell from his lips like honey, promises made to a bride that should have been her. They were promises already belonging to her, made in the secret places they had once shared. Sorrow threatened to drown her. Severus glanced down to see his sister's chin tilt up and a smile glossed her features. A guarded and mysterious smile, but a smile nonetheless. Selena Snape was a picture of composure and ease. Severus knew better.

It was now Narcissa's turn to speak, her eyes burning with the feverish intensity of unrequited love finally accepted. When she came to the end of the standard vows she knelt to the earthen floor in front of her husband. This was an act of complete submission and dependence, an ancient tradition that was hardly ever used anymore. Selena fought the urge to scoff, the gesture did not come as a complete surprise to Selena, the Black girls had always had a touch of mad devotion in their characters. Others in the crowd murmured at the act and even Lucius looked a tad taken aback; however, he did not hesitate in performing his part by placing his long fingered hand atop her golden head to speak a blessing to his new wife. Narcissa rose and the crowd quieted in awe of the unadulterated joy beaming from her face.

Selena's mind spat poisonous barbs at the woman who, in gaining her deepest desire, had shattered Selena's happiness and condemned her to a raw pain that she couldn't shake. _Oh Cissy, Cissy how I have come to hate you. My once best and truest friend, you have betrayed and abused me abominably. I shall never find it within me to forgive you. I am a creature of stubborn passions_. Bitterness and self-loathing boiled within the petite brunet, but Selena smiled still, even as her perfect lips joined the other guests in unison.

"May your union be blessed and fruitful, may magic always course through your descendants and may you ever honor the traditions and values of your family, the most noble and ancient house of Malfoy."

The final words were spoken and the couple's magic swept through the crowd as the binding was complete. It had been one of the most emotionally stressful half hours of Selena's young life, but she knew the following banquet would be more exhausting. As many eyes that would be following the happy couple would also be trained on her, watching for any signs of weakness or breach in behavior. They all knew, all of the waiting eyes knew of the ties that had once bound the Malfoy heir to the Snape beauty. It was a common fact that the families had been in contractual talks concerning their marriage. Whey they had fallen through was mystery known only to those directly involved. For some reason Selena Snape had been deemed an unacceptable bride and the pureblood society teemed with curiosity.

Her genuine affection for Lucius had not been overlooked. They were hoping for an emotional display, which Selena refused to allow. Severus expertly led Selena through the watchful crowd and to their table. Narcissa had been kind in her victory, Selena acknowledged as she observed her dinner companions. Alenthros Prewitt and his wife Helena were amiable people not known for their gossip mongering, nor were they terribly annoying such as Priscina Parkinson and company who were twittering three tables over and cutting obvious eyes towards Selena's table. She pointedly ignored them. The last member of their party was a French relative of Lucius' whom she had heard mentioned on occasion. What he had done to land himself outside the family circle was beyond Selena.

"Wilhelm Malfoy," he introduced himself with a flourished bow. He was obviously more flamboyant than the rest of the Malfoy family perhaps that was the reason for his mini exile.

"Severus Snape and this is my sister Selena." Recognition fluttered across his expressive face.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Mr. Snape, Miss Snape and might I say that you are the most exquisite woman I have laid eyes on today," Selena smiled coyly at the complement allowing the gentleman to press a kiss to her hand.

"I am most obliged Mr. Malfoy, but mayhap you are forgetting our lovely hostess, the bride." Wilhelm winked roguishly.

"I will agree to my new cousin's loveliness, but I still hold to my previous statement." Selena let out a short laugh as her brother pulled out her chair stifling an eye role. Selena had always had a touch of vanity. She could sense Severus' dislike of their new acquaintance. Wilhelm was exactly the sort of character who was too lively for her often somber brother. The Prewitts quickly took a liking to the Frenchman and their table was a merry one, much to the chagrin of those constantly watching eyes.

Selena ate with an unaffected air though every bite stuck in her throat, painfully mixing with the tears that she had already attempted to swallow. She had never known pain that burned so keenly. She had often associated fire with her deep devotion to Lucius Malfoy, but usually it was an exquisite experience, a renewing fire that burned through her at something as simple as a sideways glance. There was nothing renewing about the blaze that lived in Selena's oversensitive skin on this day. It was only destructive and constant, a pulsing reminder of the things she had lost. It was not only the loss of the person to which she had anchored her love, but of the future they had planned in dreams. Their dreams that now lay scattered before her like shards of a nightmare. She was not going to be able to take this much longer.

"I have heard rumor that you are the most splendid dancer in the country Miss Snape." Wilhelm caught her wayward attention providing her with a much needed escape.

"Your rumors flatter me again Mr. Malfoy, but I would be remiss in allowing you to believe my skills to the best in all of Britain however much I do enjoy the pastime."

"Do not let her fool you," Helena laughed leaning across the table as if to impart some great secret, "Selena has studied with masters. I hear dancing with her is akin to grasping the fluidity of water. She puts all of her partners to shame. Do not be so modest dear." The last was directed to Selena who had cut her eyes demurely downward mostly in an effort to hide their shining. Lucius had been the one to spread such rumors after their very first dance, nearly five years ago. He had likened her to the clearest stream and the analogy had not died.

"Well then I must have a demonstration. Miss Snape might you do me the honor." She forced herself to look up a smile splitting her features.

"I had been hoping you would ask." She accepted his hand with a sense of rightness falling over her. To get lost in the steps would be an exhilarating experience. For the space of a dance Selena could pretend that the man with the shadow of her beloved's features was in fact him and that this dance was just like any other they had shared. She set her mind to the task of losing herself in fantasy. Wilhelm was an experienced dancer not lacking for skill and his arms embraced her in all the familiar places. She breathed deeply and smiled like a woman in love. Lucius' own smile was charming and his wit quick as always. He loved her and the world righted itself in the course of a song.

"You dance like a dream Miss Snape," Lucius spoke, his voice thinner than normal. Selena closed her eyes tightly for one moment trying to hold onto the remnants of her delusion as the last notes tinkled prettily. Wilhelm greeted her sight where Lucius had once been.

"Thank you Mr. Malfoy. I rather enjoyed myself." She straightened before making the customary curtsy to her partner. They parted ways as Wilhelm went to mingle and Selena returned to her brother's side, a pair of slate grey eyes following her movements.

"Severus," she whispered her voice small as a child's; "I'd like to go home now." He nodded once before maneuvering towards the house elves in charge of the receiving room. While she retrieved their traveling cloaks, Severus made their official farewells. Not once did Selena meet the eyes of Lucius Malfoy. It was a mercy, to be sure. Seeing him would be the one thing she could not recover from and would effectively destroy her in a room full of peers. His hateful bride also remained absent. She stood in the large fireplace staring at her hand where the green shimmering powder was slipping, slipping, slipping through her fingers. Everything was slipping.

"Selena!" Severus prompted her sharply. He eyes snapped up startled remembering herself.

"Snape Estates," she stated plainly allowing the powder to fall at her feet listlessly, not one ounce of snap to her wrist. The fire barely surged swirling the heartbroken young lady back to safety and comfort. Her brother followed behind decisively and the party continued.

* * *

The shock of solid ground unbalanced Selena causing her to slam into the receiving room floor with bone jarring intensity, her cheek pressing harshly into the cold marble edge of the fireplace. Blood trickled and Selena remained stationary not able to reckon where her emotional pain ended and her physical pain began. Pain was her only reality. Severus nearly fell over her prone form upon his return. He took control of the situation instantly. With a sharp snap of his fingers a house elf appeared and of course it had to be the most frustrating one of the lot.

"Turn down Selena's bed and call the doctor." He ordered without preamble. Much to his chagrin that idiot servant dawdled with concern.

"What has happened?" Severus practically growled. Damn Selena and her stupid educated elf.

"Tildy I will dismiss you myself if you fail to obey me in this." He hissed dangerously his eyes narrowed into slits. There was no more hesitation even though they both knew his words to be hollow. Selena alone could dismiss the frustrating little bugger as she no longer belonged to the family, but to Selena directly. Though Severus was not above poisoning her if he got angry enough.

"Sister," Severus' voice boomed with authority, "Calm Down. You are doing yourself untold damage."

"I-I can't," she gasped the words struggling to sit up. Her arms trembled with exertion and she collapsed once more only this time Severus was ready and he caught her deftly.

"Yes you can!" she bit back a strangled sob at his tone, "This is your magic Selena. It has become caught up in your emotions and it will destroy you. Don't let it." Her blue eyes all but glowed with untapped power magnified by glossy tears. At this moment she was merely a vessel.

"Move," she gasped the command convulsing with a wave of raw power. Severus did not hesitate pulling himself behind a sturdy stone pillar and throwing up a shielding charm. A ragged scream burst from Selena's throat filled with heartbreak and an all-consuming rage emitting in a shockwave of energy from her frail body. The receiving room crumbled. The dainty furniture, curtains, and paintings situated about the room went up in flames and extinguished in seconds leaving behind nothing, but charred wood and ash. The floor blackened and the walls balked at the impact, but Snape Estates held strong accepting the onslaught with a loud groan. The chandelier crashed in a shower of broken crystal and the pillar opposite Severus exploded as if it was made out of plywood instead of granite. For the space of a moment, all was silent. As suddenly as it had started it was over. Selena lay in the midst of the rubble, once more prone on the floor, her head lolling with near lifelessness her chest barely rising. She was unconscious and Severus could not help feeling an overwhelming sense of thankfulness.

Selena eased into consciousness with a heaviness to her limbs that anchored her to the bed. An attempt at opening her eyes resulted in not even a twitch. It felt as if trolls were hanging off of her eyelashes. Movement was beyond the realm of possibility for her exhausted body. The effort of breathing took nearly every drop of strength that she had recovered. The coverlets that rested gently over her body felt akin to plate steel crushing her chest. The annoying hum of magic nearly screamed in her sensitive ears as it danced across the surface of her skin. She barely caught the timber of her brother's voice; his words were almost indistinguishable over the din of noise.

* * *

"Selena?" If she could have jumped at his unexpected approach she would have, but as it was she lay immobile not able to acknowledge his attentions. The rough pad of his thumb brushed under her eyes spreading moisture. They were tears Selena recognized. The chasm of Lucius betrayal throbbed harshly in response to her realization and more tears flowed. "She's crying." He observed clinically.

"I wouldn't worry about it Master Snape. She had been under too much stress to be aware so soon. Her body is simply responding."

"Even unconscious she weeps for Lucius Malfoy," he mumbled a disgusted twisted to his worried tone. Selena doubted the healer could even hear him. "She is getting worse." Severus raised his voice to a more audible level.

"If she continues to have these emotional outbursts it will only shorten her time here." Healer Heloise Tharpe did not mince words nor did she sugar coat. "Her magic is growing exponentially and her body is only becoming more fragile with age."

"Age," Severus scoffed grimly, "She is barely nineteen."

"They are not known to live long, these vessels." The air around Selena stirred dramatically and she could hear the bite in her brother's tone.

"If you reference that damn legend one more time I will physically throw you off of the Estate grounds and no longer retain your services!" Selena knew that Healer Tharpe was made of sterner stuff. She would not budge in the face of Severus wrath.

"I am sorry. You sister is a lovely person with a kind heart and what has befallen her is a terrible fate. Unfortunately Draining Disease is so rare that we can't even begin to treat it. The last known case was over three centuries ago. The only records we even have are the legends. Selena is the most powerful witch in three hundred years, but unfortunately that amount of power is not meant to be housed in a mortal body and in essence the magic is feeding off of her life force."

"Have you had no breakthroughs in studying her blood?" Desperation clung to her nearly unflappable brother.

"Nothing new," she reported, "I've exhausted nearly every avenue and I'm afraid that any hope of a cure would not come through legal channels. It is out of my hands." The healer was no fool. She knew exactly how strong the Dark Arts ran through the Snape family, she had been treating them for years. She was offering Severus the only possible choice left

"But not out of mine. I would like to conduct some research of my own if you could hand over any of your findings." Selena struggled to stay aware of the conversation as exhaustion threatened to claim her.

"Of course Master Snape, it would be helpful to bring fresh eyes to the case and I daresay you expertise in Potions would not be amiss either. I'll have them owled to you as soon as possible." Selena heard the distinct snap of her medical bag. "I've left the restorative draughts on the bedside table. You know how to administer them. I would also suggest that you sister might start seeing a therapist to help her with some relaxation techniques. The better she becomes at balancing her emotions the longer she will live."

"Thank You Healer. We will consider it." With the close of the conversation, Selena allowed herself to sleep once more.

Severus breathed deeply in the empty room before he allowed himself to fall into the high wing back chair beside the bed that housed his sister. With a worried sigh he ran a long fingered hand down his face taking in her delicate form. Her raven curls scattered across the pillow and her mouth was parted drawing in short almost gasping breaths. But her chest still rose and fell and in this moment she was alive.

For once Severus was glad that his parents were constantly traveling. He had sent word to them of course, but they could hardly be bothered with their ailing daughter. They treated Selena like a leper; which was difficult for the girl who had once been the shining jewel in her parent's crowns. Since learning about her condition she was merely a burden. Their father had always considered her with little enthusiasm. She was a girl not the second boy he had longed for. But she made up for it with her beauty, wits, and charm. The promise of a good marriage and an alliance for the family was enough to endear her to his heart. It was another thing that had been taken from her by the disease.

It was magically hereditary popping up randomly every couple of hundred years. Rodderick Malfoy had considered it too risky for future generations of Malfoy heirs to have such a shadow running through their veins and decided against Selena as a suitable bride. It was a twist of ill luck that Lucius and Selena were already so thoroughly taken with one another. Hatred came easily for the eldest Snape and at this moment flames of anger licked at his heart. Lucius was shrewd and if he had set his mind to the task he could have married Selena today while retaining his inheritance. Instead he had succumbed to his father's will and broken Selena's heart shortening her life in the process. Lucius Malfoy was effectively killing his sister and that was not to be taken lightly. Vengeance would be sweet and awful, but delayed. His first priority was his sister and she was withering before his eyes. He snapped his fingers once more never moving his piercing black eyes from the bed.

"Sit with her," he ordered the waiting houself, "the minute anything changes I wish to be informed. Any delay will result in immediate dismissal." He robes unfurled as he swept out of the room.

* * *

Lucius Malfoy toyed with the end of his quill in a fretful manner very much out of character for a man normally so prepossessed. This was the way Selena Snape had always affected him. The thought of his lost love left him grasping at words. Perhaps a letter was the wrong way of going about this and perhaps his honeymoon was not the correct place, but Narcissa was on another endless shopping jaunt and he was ensconced in the rented beach house alone with his thoughts and the memory of Selena' laugh dancing in the air. He had wanted to believe himself not so completely captivated by the woman. He had wanted to believe that one woman was as good as the next. He had wanted to maintain that emotional distance that allowed him to think clearly instead of the fog that overtook him every time Selena Snape was around. Damn that infuriating vixen!

Marrying Narcissa had disabused him of all such notions. He no longer wanted any of those things. One woman was not the same as the next. The differences between the two women were stark and annoyingly present in every interaction. And despite the fact that being with Narcissa freed him from the bonds of infatuation and distraction that accompanied his devotion to Selena the hole that Narcissa could not fill longed for the other. It was an infuriatingly grating feeling and one that he saw only a single solution for. They had three days left of their month long honeymoon and as soon as his feet were back on British soil he was going to pay a visit to Snape Estates, but first a letter to test the waters.

To the Lady Selena Snape, the missive began. He crossed the words out harshly. How was one meant to write a letter to convey feeling while maintaining protocol? Narcissa would be good at this he mused. While his passion for Narcissa paled in comparison to the flame that he fostered for Selena she was not without her merit. His wife was a very talented woman she could craft a letter with a turn of her wrist that was could devastate a person without using so much as one unkind word. Such was the double talk of women so very different from the veiled threats of men and politics. She had been trained in the arts of hosting and no one threw more successful fetes than she. Social engagements were the backbone of politics. Narcissa Malfoy nee Black was a destroyer of social standing and in the world they lived in that meant a great deal. She was truly an excellent match for the ambitious Malfoy heir. However Lucius was beginning to understand that when it came to sharing his life with someone the best match was not the one he desired.

He had seen her at the wedding all dark hair and smoldering eyes. An iron fortress locked around her person with Severus as her ever present shadow. He halted the approach of any curious interviewer and Lucius had respected that distance. Someone needed to look after her. She had laughed as she danced with Wilhelm, her open throaty laugh that had always drawn him to her. It was honest and bright with no duplicity no agenda. He owned that laugh at one time and traded it for a simper. However Lucious was not a man to dwell on mistakes, nor was he a man to admit to a mistake so moving forward was his only option.

"Lucius, darling, who are you writing to?" He pressed the wax seal firmly with his signet.

"An old friend Cissy, nothing that concerns you. Need I ask how your shopping trip was?" He raised a quizzical eyebrow at her many bags, a dry smile twisting his lips. He shooed the owl out his window with a flick of his wrist. She beamed at him, an open and beautiful smile. A wife enraptured with her husband, but all he saw was dark hair and smoldering eyes.

* * *

Tildy sighed and wondered, not for the first time, if she should inform Severus about the missives that she had been intercepting from Lucius Malfoy. She knew that what she was doing could be considered meddling and that no respectable house elf would even consider the course of action that she was committed to, but Selena had barely improved and Tildy didn't want to risk a relapse. An internal nod strengthened her resolve as she burned the offending parchment with a sharp snap of her spindly fingers. She fussed with the tea set for a moment more before popping away to her mistress's room.

"Oh hello, Tildy," the beautiful girl smiled thinly at her friend's entrance. "I'm afraid I'm not in the mood for tea."

"Nonsense," Tildy insisted floating the tray along beside her as she helped Selena sit up higher and fluffed the enormous pillows, "you haven't had anything since breakfast and you can't take your potions on an empty stomach." Selena sighed but made an effort to appease the stubborn house elf.

"How many regrets must I send today?" She asked attempting to remain light hearted. Just because Selena was bedridden did not mean the invitations to various social events did not continue to arrive. It was after all the party season and because she was a young lady of high social standing and of marriageable age she was no longer invited as a part of her family, but autonomously. This meant she must pen her own regrets. Her absence had not been overlooked by her peers who continued to titter about her history with Lucius and make up fanciful stories. The latest of these was that she was stalking him while he was on holiday.

"None miss, I sent out a copy of your previous regrets." Selena was quiet for a moment as she sipped the tea that had been poured for her.

"I am receiving all of my post, correct? Severus hasn't been going through it?" Tildy suppressed a grimace.

"He has not."

"I expected him to write," she replied mostly to herself, but Tildy was quick to disabuse such a notion sharply.

"He is married Selena. It would be very inappropriate for him to write you and even more inappropriate for you to acknowledge the communication."

"As inappropriate as a house elf forgoing titles?" She sniped back forcefully.

"Worse." Tildy didn't bat an eye at the pseudo reprimand. Selena's bark was far worse than her bite especially in her weakened state. The two were startled by the abrupt entrance of Severus.

"Out." He barked in Tildy's direction

"Please," Selena corrected him with a sharp look, which he did not heed. Nevertheless Tildy exited leaving the siblings alone.

"Is there something you wanted Severus?" she asked primly picking at her coverlets with downcast eyes. She knew why he was here and the silence grew as she waited for his response.

"You are wallowing sister. It is unbecoming."

"I am sick."

"I am aware of your current state. However your listlessness and general apathy are impeding your recovery and I for one am tired of making sick bed visits." His voice was as it ever was; full of exaction and the promise of despair should she disobey, "With the amount of pepper up potion I have been adding to your tea you should be buzzing out of bed."

"I haven't been drinking the tea you send. I'm sorry I have inconvenienced you brother and depleted your potions supplies."

"Apologies are not what I have come to obtain! You are deliberately thwarting my attempts to improve your spirits."

"I want to be sad." She shrugged still refusing to meet his eyes.

"You want to be sad?" He echoed incredulously, "Pardon me, but did you just say you want to be sad? That is preposterous! I refuse to allow it. You are doing irreparable damage to your reputation not to mention that you had previously promised to attend The Hogwarts Ball with me in order to thwart that meddling old fool who is consistently attempting to marry me off. This is a classic fault of yours Selena you are being selfish again." That caught her attention.

"I am the one born on death's stoop and I am the selfish one?"

"I refuse to acknowledge your theatrics Selena. I don't care if you were born the first child of the Philanthria! You will cease this destructive behavior at once and allow yourself to recover."

"Would that I were born of Philanthria," she grumbled Severus' shouts were beginning to make her head ache, "at least then I wouldn't have any overbearing brothers. Severus please stop looming over me and seat yourself." His robes snapped as he complied rigidly and the negotiations began.

"Will you take your potion?"

"I will take all my potions except for the mood altering ones."

"It is my professional opinion that the mood altering potions will aide in a speedier recovery." Selena suppressed the urge to roll her eyes.

"In the field of potions I defer to your superior education brother; however, your professional opinion means little in the world of mediwizardry." Severus sighed dropping his stern countenance with a rub to his forehead.

"Why are your being so stubborn about this?"

"To vex you Severus, it is my goal in life to cause you undue trouble." Severus smiled slightly at her comment.

"This is not a joking matter Selena. I simply wish you for you try and recover. You are sad about what transpired with Lucius Malfoy and you are using your illness to lock yourself away."

"Yes," she replied softly looking out the window. Sad? Was that what she was? What a shallow word to describe the depth of her agony "I am sad and I would like to be allowed the comfort of having my reaction. I wish to mourn for what I have lost without suppressing it with magic." Severus wasn't convinced.

"You are not an idiot Selena. You know the effect that your emotions have on your illness. The question that boggles the mind is why you do not control your emotions more strictly. Instead you allow yourself to dwell on destructive feelings that impede your recovery."

"I will not sacrifice life in order to live Severus. There is no meaning in a life lived without relationships, without connection, without experience. I wish you could understand that. You know who understands that don't you brother?"

"I do not wish to speak of her Selena," his voice was stern, but Selena was tired of being the focus of the uncomfortable conversation at hand

"Lily Potter. That is why you fell in love with her in the beginning; her zeal for life, the electricity that lived in her hair. Admit it brother!"

"I will admit no such thing. It is preposterous…electricity in her hair. Where do you come up with such fanciful notions?"

"You don't have to be so guarded Severus, not with me. I am your sister. I know how you mourned your loss. Did it hurt less holding it inside the way you did, a private pain that no one else had the right to touch?" She was pushing buttons and she knew it.

"That is correct," he hissed, "It is a private pain that none can understand and I refuse to cheapen it by sharing it with others. Your emotional voyeurism is not the strength that you believe it to be. I loved Lily and she married that cad James Potter, but I know it was real and I am the only person that need know."

"Why do you think she married him?" the look on her face was soft and gentle as she reached for his clenched hand, "He let her in. He didn't love her from dark corners; he embraced his feelings and proclaimed them." Severus wanted none of it. He withdrew from her comforting touch with violence.

"I don't believe that I see my loving and open sister marrying the man that she proclaimed herself to. Do you see the flaw in your argument Selena, you loved Lucius Malfoy and allowed him access to your heart. You proclaimed this love of yours and you were still rejected. Lucius is out of your reach forever. He has married another and forsaken you. The end result is still the same. We are both alone." She seemed unshaken by his words though a gulf of sadness danced in her eyes.

"As always you are correct brother. The result is the same, but there is a difference. I know that I did everything I could to fight for what I wanted and in the process I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Lucius Malfoy loved me in return. Whatever his motives are behind his marriage whatever politics occurred, I was loved by the man I loved. Do you have that same assurance of Lily?" Severus sighed letting the anger drain out of him taking the hand that he had preciously rejected.

"Does the knowledge of his love truly outweigh the betrayal of his abandonment?" Tears slipped down her cheeks once more.

"I'm not sure," she whispered, "but it has to mean something." This time her brother held her as she cried.

* * *

Since their conversation Selena had at least made the attempt to be more animated even going so far as to join the family for meals instead of taking them in her room. But no matter how Severus believed her mental state might be affecting her illness there was no denying that Selena was still extremely ill and even the short hours out of bed taxed her greatly. By the end of dinner, the longest meal of the day, she was white as a sheet. In the mean time Severus toiled over his cauldron and slept in his books hoping for any information towards a cure. He had been toying with the idea of asking his Lord if he had ever run across anything relevant to his sister's condition. Severus had always been a careful person, but this was probably the first thing he had deliberately withheld from his master since their time together began. But Selena was special and she was not to be risked. There were many people who would wish to study and harness the concentrated magic housed within her frail body not the least of which would be Lord Voldemort.

Severus ran one long fingered hand down his face before banishing the mess in his cauldron. He really needed someone to consult with about this case. If only he wasn't the smartest person that he knew. Maybe if he set his mind to another project he could come back with a clear head. What else was on his docket? A couple of special potions orders and that little vengeance project that he needed to address. No need to start bottling vengeance just yet, Lucius Malfoy had only just returned from his honeymoon and Severus wanted to allow him at least the chance of an heir before he sterilized Narcissa. Looks like it was to be the special orders then.

Lucius had returned to an England that seemed to be lacking. He had always looked forward to returning home from abroad. He was a man of cultural pride and there was no place as grand as his England. Selena was absent from every social function that he attended leaving him with no opportunities to approach her. Narcissa was beginning to notice his distraction. He has seen the ambassador and his wife, but they made no mention to their daughter or her health, which Lucius had heard to be flagging. It seemed she had been bedridden since his nuptials with nary a whisper as to the cause. The prevailing theory was wizard pox, but Lucius knew the truth. This ailment could only come from her condition. He was worried and with no opportunity to assuage his worry, guilt began to gnaw at him. Hogwarts looked as magnificent as always as he entered the Great Hall with Narcissa's hand on his elbow. His eyes found Severus' black form in an instant. He was attempting to disengage himself from Dumbledore. The elderly wizard's eyes held more mirth than usual, which was a bad sign for Severus.

"Lucius!" a boisterous voice brought him out of his thoughts, "married life seems to suit you. You look positively dashing!"

"Why thank you Helen," he smiled congenially turning his attention to the Prewitts as they approached. "Alenthros, how nice to see you again." The men shook hands.

"You're robes are beautiful Helen, whoever designed them?" Narcissa interjected, chattering politely.

"Oh, Wren Rapapport. I almost wore them to your wedding, which was a lovely affair by the way. I'm sorry we didn't get the chance to speak with you."

"Not at all. I am just glad you had an enjoyable time. We were very happy with how everything turned out." She cast her eyes towards Lucius and squeezed his hand.

"Yes, yes a very enjoyable time. Our table was quite lively, with the exception of Severus," she chuckled, "but Selena was able to soften him up. She is such a charming person. I believe your cousin was quiet taken with her Lucius. You should have seen the way they danced." Lucius' eyes were flat. He had seen the way they danced, of course wishing for nothing more than to be the man dancing with her.

"Well, Wilhelm never misses the chance to woo a beautiful lady." Narcissa stiffened at his words. Selena had not been spoken of since they had become engaged.

"I bet he doesn't," Mr. Prewitt winked roguishly, "I believe I hear tale that he has begun courting the Lady Snape."

"Wilhelm and Selena?" Lucius words slipped out in a dumbfounded stupor, "I haven't heard a thing."

"And why would you have?" Narcissa laughed dismissively, "You have hardly any business with your cousin and Selena certainly isn't any of your concern." Lucius hmmed slightly, thinking too fast to respond properly. Wilhelm and Selena indeed! Wilhelm was a boisterous ninny. They had spent a number of summers together as children and as Lucius matured, Wilhelm had refused to move out of childishness. He was no one that Selena could take seriously in a relationship. Surely he was just the poor woman's Lucius.

"Would anyone like some pumpkin juice?" He quarried the answers barely reaching his ears as he began to stalk away distractedly. He had to speak to Severus tonight!

Narcissa's ears were hot as she watched her husband walk away. Her hand patted at the necklace clasped around her throat in a nervous gesture.

"I apologize if we have said something we oughtn't." Alenthros offered.

"Oh no, no, you'll have to excuse him," she laughed, "He has been so distracted since taking over his father's position as head of the household. Sometimes he'll just drift off in the middle of a conversation, his head suddenly filled with figures and obligations." She patted the jewels again. "Oh, pardon me, I just saw my sister arrive. It was lovely speaking with you." Bellatrix was a striking as ever as she entered and Narcissa couldn't have been more relieved to see her in attendance.

"Bella," she exhaled upon reaching her and embracing demurely. Her sister's dark eyes evaluated her sharply.

"What has happened Cissy? Rudolphus, fetch us a drink." She waved her husband away with a flick of her hand. "You look out of sorts and your color is up." Narcissa pressed her cool hands against her cheeks.

"Is it terribly noticeable?" she fretted.

"Only if you keep rubbing your face in that manner," Narcissa's hands snapped to her side, "Now what has upset you."

"It is nothing. Only Lucius reacted poorly to the mention of Selena. I'm afraid he still thinks on her."

"Of course he still thinks on her. They were inseparable for nearly a year. It is your job to make sure he begins thinking on you. And standing here talking to me is not accomplishing that feat. You are lucky she has been absent since your wedding. The last thing you need is her presence stirring his passions into jealous fits."

"You are hardly a comfort, Bella."

"I never claimed to be. If you wish for comfort I suggest you seek out Andromeda."

"She is unnervingly absent these days." Narcissa muttered her eyes sweeping across the hall picking up on familiar faces, but finding the youngest Black nowhere.

"Yes," Bellatrix mused, "and is too often seen in the company of the traitorous cousin of ours." Both of their eyes locked on Sirus from across the room, as always he was in cahoots with that James Potter and his mudblood wife.

"These soirees at Hogwarts are becoming almost too much for self respecting families to bear. So much uncleanness."

"It is a terrible direction in which society has begun to move. The old ways of magic are dying, covered up by the political correctness of sympathizers and spineless politicians. Someone must stop it, to be sure." Fervent zeal blazed in the dark eyes of Bellatrix. Narcissa nodded her agreement. The headmaster took to the podium.

"Hogwarts is please to welcome so many prestigious alums back into her walls and to celebrate the new editions to our board of governors. If you would find your seats I believe dinner will be served shortly."

"I must find Lucius. I will speak with you later sister." Bellatrix nodded in reply as they parted ways.

* * *

Severus' initial reception was beyond icy, but Lucius pressed forward. This may be his only chance, "Congratulations on your new post Severus."

"Lucius, how pleasant to see you," he sneered. Severus had never been the type of Slytherin to hide his disdain for diplomatic reasons. "Has your wife conceived? That is after all the extent of your use for her."

"Not yet, but an heir should be short in coming." Lucius was the type to employ diplomacy as he did now with his even answer.

"I should hope so, I would hate for you to be disappointed after paying such an extravagant bride price."

"Let us not discuss finances, it is so droll."

"Oh I'm sure you realize your losses were more than merely financial." Severus hissed, his robes seeming to crackle with angry magic, "What was it you wished to discuss Lucius? You have wasted so much of my family's time already." Lucius plunged ahead realizing no amount of tact was going to cushion this conversation. Severus was always so unbending.

"I hear your sister is in poor health." Severus' voice was low and dangerous.

"You dare to speak of her to me. My sister's health has ceased to be any of your concern."

"Severus, I realize I have no right, but I am worried-"

"What a convenient time for you to be worried Lord Malfoy. Would that you died with your worry, because that is what you have done to Selena." The snarled words bit Lucius sharply. "You have abused her abominably and it is not something that will be forgotten or forgiven."

"I don't care about your forgiveness Severus. Will she recover?"

"I owe you no answers. Drown in your worry and your guilt for you will receive no reprieve from me." Severus' exit would have been much more dramatic if it was not for the fact that they were sharing the same table for dinner albeit at opposite ends. Lucius' mind ran frantically. This was serious. Selena had been bedridden for over a month and Lucius knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if she had been able, she would have been in attendance tonight with her brother. He needed to see her, to speak with her immediately. She had seemed so vibrant and vital at his wedding, the wedding that should have been hers. Guilt again. He needed a plan. Severus would allow him no quarter and Selena wasn't answering his letters.

"Are you in good health my love? You look pale." His head snapped in the direction of his wife's voice.

"I-I am fine. Just a bit peckish."

"Well then let us sit." Lucius sat and maintained convincing conversation throughout the evening, but his mind stayed focused on the object of his desires and his worries. He had allowed Selena Snape to be taken from him once before, but he would not do so again. Nothing and no one would deny him. They were essential to one another.

* * *

"Severus," Selena smiled as he entered her room a book hanging limply from one hand, "How was the party this evening? I'm sorry I was unable to attend."

"I have never endured a more tedious evening," he threw himself into his usual chair, "Not even your presence would have improved it." She giggled softly, "Tildy a brandy." The house elf complied as the siblings caught up. "Have you seen mother and father?"

"No, I can never keep up with their comings and goings especially not from this bed. Although Wilhelm did stop by to take super with me." Severus rolled his eyes dramatically. "I truly wish you would not indulge the Malfoy fop."

"His company is better than no company," she shrugged, hating the fact that the prevailing reason she entertained him at all was due to his likeness to his cousin and the loneliness of the Estates when Severus was not around. In just one short month her brother would be gone indefinitely, living at Hogwarts once more.

"He hasn't made any advances, has he?" Severus asked through narrowed eyes.

"Of course not, he is the picture of decorum. He even performed a chaperone spell without any prompting." There was a slight lull, "Severus do you think I might be able to live with you?"

"Live with me? At Hogwarts?" She sighed knowing how ridiculous it sounded.

"Yes, I just hate this damn house when it is empty and with you gone it will be empty the majority of the time." Severus ran a hand down his face. He was already feeling guilty enough leaving Selena alone with her illness.

"I have been thinking about maybe purchasing a flat in Hogsmeade. It wouldn't be far from the school at all and you would be near town."

"That sounds lovely, but mother and father probably wouldn't allow it. A single woman my age living on her own, there would be gossip."

"And if the ambassador wishes to be reappointed there mustn't be gossip." Both siblings sighed in one accord.

"How are you feeling?" Selena wrinkled her nose at the ever-present nature of that question.

"Fine, my spellwork is still not consistent and I'm tired of course." It had never taken Selena this long to recover her magical stores. It was worrisome. "I get about six strong spells off before they dwindle."

"I don't want you to test your magical stores for at least another week. You need to rest more."

"If I rested anymore I would be in a coma."

"Now there is an idea," Severus mused, "a magically induced coma would allow you to recover in twice the time that it would take your body on its own."

"I refuse to be placed in a coma and that is all there is to it."

"You may have to Selena, if your recovery takes much longer."

"We will reassess the issue if the time comes." Severus made a tsking sound with his tongue, but allowed the matter to rest. He drank his brandy steadily before calling for another.

"Was Lily in attendance?" She asked the question softly, but the words still seemed to shatter in the room.

"Yes."

"Did you speak with her?"

"No, she was other wised engaged with her husband and his band of buffoons."

"She didn't even say hello?" He looked into his glass thoughtfully.

"No, she did, she even offered me congratulations on the position as Potions Master. She inquired after you. We spoke briefly about some research she is conducting in Charms."

"Severus," she shook her head with a small smile, "that is speaking with her."

"I know," he said softly, "it was just so lovely and terrible at the same time. I'd rather just forget it ever happened."

"The word you are searching for is bittersweet. And I'm sorry. Did-did you happen to see Lucius?" his name almost caught in her throat, but she managed to push it through painfully. He looked at her silently no words jumping to his lips, "Let me have my pain." She whispered. "It is mine after all."

"I did see him for a moment, but that is all I will say on the matter. The Snapes seem to have a vein of masochism running through them." He chuckled darkly and Selena responded with a tight version of her own.

"I suppose so." She cleared her throat not wishing to dwell on the painful similarity they shared, "Wilhelm told me the funniest joke today, would you like to hear it?"

"I would, but only if it is truly humorous." Severus responded so soberly that Selena almost giggled at his delivery.


End file.
